Okay, time for some pet peeves. Here goes nothing. Number 1: This really annoys me. I have a theory (backed up by a fair amount of empirical evidence) which states that many women have an insatiable propensity for dating, marrying, fooling around with, and generally getting way too involved with the completely wrong men. Is it that these women like to feel they have the upper hand? Is it related to low self-esteem or a subconscious need to be victimized? Why? I don't understand. Here's what I say to any woman who's dating some guy who doesn't truly love her and treat her with maximum love and respect: You need to be pro-active and learn to discern between mates who truly embrace the spirit of God and those who simply choose to be selfish bastards. Don't try to change him - chances are it will not work. Do the right thing and learn to be happy with yourself, then try to find someone with a similar inner spirit. Staying in a crappy dysfunctional relationship just for the security of the status quo (or whatever reason), will only hurt you more in the long term. I can tell you for a fact that life is much better to a lonely person than it is to one who is locked in the self-imposed cage of a destructive relationship. So get a clue and leave the jerk. Improve yourself, then find someone who is worthy. (Sir Richard steps down from the soapbox, takes a drink of water, then steps up again) Number 2: OK, here's something else that really annoys me: I'm very bothered when people put on a fake attitude or hide behind emotional defenses. Let me briefly offer an example: A couple of years ago I met a brilliant, beautiful woman, to whom I'll refer as Erica. I was friends with several of her roommates, and hung out in their apartment regularly during the month before I moved to Texas. Erica was extremely shy at that time, and I almost never saw her until the week before I moved. During that week, she spent some time with my friend Chris, his girlfriend Michelle, and I, while we conversed in the kitchen. Erica was very reserved and rarely spoke, but I could see in her expression that she was intelligent, and some of the things which she did say struck me as being very wise, well thought out, and true. So naturally I became very motivated to talk to Erica more, and find out more about her. I learned from my dear friend Michelle that the reason that Erica was so reserved, was because her parents were extremely abusive to her when she was growing up. I know that tragic situations like this often destroy a child's sense of self-worth, so it made sense that Erica behaved as she did. So I mulled all of this over for some time, and with consideration of the greatness I saw within Erica, I became motivated to convince her that I believed that she was a good and worthy person. In the end I only got one opportunity to really sit down and talk with her, and she was timid and hiding most of the time, which was disappointing. Unfortunately I just did not have the time necessary to dig through all the layers of Erica's emotional walls so that she would trust me. Such is life. So, back to the general case. I'm really annoyed by situations where someone that I'm trying to communicate with is hiding behind defenses. The less rational part of me is frustrated and angry that another person, like a dog caught in a trap, won't let me get close even though my only intention is to love and help. The more rational part of me is angry at the injustice of the necessary preceding events which caused this person to develop this defense. I believe that it's an inescapable conclusion that emotional walls are scars caused by deep wounds inflicted by a trusted person. This makes me sad and frustrated. I want to communicate, "Hey, I try to be the most accepting and caring person that I know how to be; you have nothing to hide or be afraid of," but I know that the other person will not trust what I say, nor will he or she let me see his or her true self. It's very frustrating. Here is a true statement: everyone gets hurt. Not only that, but everyone gets hurt very deeply by some people or circumstances at some times in their lives. My friend Katherine once said, "God never promised that life would be easy, just that it would be worth it." Each person has her own demons and troubles in life. Thus it is natural, and not weak, to be afraid - the world is a scary place sometimes. However, I urge everyone to look behind your curtain of security, discover the truth about life, and create the courage to be yourself.